Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane

While I definitely use books as an escape from the everyday, one of my favourite categories of fiction is realistic multi-generational family dramas, which is why I loved Ask Again, Yes.

Early on, we're introduced to Francis Gleeson and Brian Stanhope, two rookie police officers who end up neighbours. Francis' wife, Lena, is extremely outgoing and wants nothing more than to meet people and open up her home and expand her social life, but she soon discovers after a few eager attempts that Brian's wife, Anne, wasn't at all receptive to her friendship.

Both couples go on to have families of their own and, as kids tend to do, two of the neighbours' kids, Kate Gleeson and Peter Stanhope, form an early bond and become best friends. They both have vastly different childhoods. They grow up side by side, but their home lives couldn't be more different. Through each of their families' ups and downs, Kate and Peter lean on and fully trust each other. They become inseparable.

Suddenly, one night when Kate and Peter are in the eighth grade, a shocking event takes place that will forever affect both families. This single event blows the novel apart and the course of its trajectory becomes completely unpredictable.

Mary Beth Keane's talent as a writer is her ability to capture the subtleties of daily life that gradually change people as time passes. These small subtleties create small ripples over the days, months and years that cause the characters and the reader to form new perspectives of each other, just as they do in real life. If you think you know the characters well at the beginning of the book, prepare to keep an open mind. Relationships morph and change in ways you could never predict. Characters reflect deeply on their current circumstances as well as their home lives and how they were raised. The choices they make are influenced by their families, by others' expectations of them and by their own introspection about how they got to where they ended up and where they want to be in life.

The unpredictability, the character development and the plotlines of this novel moved me equally across this sweeping novel. I usually rush through novels, but I took the time to savour this one and really let everything sink in, which made for an extremely satisfying read. There was a lot going on. It was a good reminder that it can be a good thing to slow down once in a while and let the plot settle in a little before moving onto the next great book.

Judge the cover: 4/5

Girls Burn Brighter by Shobha Rao

Have you ever lost a friend? It can hurt as much as losing a lover. This is the case with Poornima and Savitha, two girls from an extremely poor Indian village. Their lives are filled with obstacles: it's difficult for them to find enough food to eat, they never have enough money, they both have challenges with their families and everyday living is mainly about survival. So when their lives intersect and they become friends via Poornima's father's weaving business, their friendship becomes the only bright beacon in an otherwise dark world.

Poornima has a bit of a rebellious streak and all she wants is to be near Savitha. After thwarting a few marriage proposals that threatened to move her away from her village (where Savitha would have to remain, as she has other sisters whose dowries needed to be saved up for first) and further upsetting her already fragile relationship with her father, Poornima is finally set to be wed via an arranged marriage to a man she doesn't meet until her wedding day. Savitha, excited that her dearest friend will be in a relationship where she'll be able to remain near the village, decides to dedicate any extra hours she has to making Poornima a special wedding sari. After finally having something positive to latch onto as things finally begin to work out for them, both girls are feeling fairly optimistic about the future. But just before the wedding is to take place, a darkly tragic event takes place, forcing Savitha to flee. Poornima is heartbroken. As she slept, her life was completely turned upside down. She went to sleep with her friend there and woke up to an emptiness unlike anything she'd felt before.

Poornima has no choice but to go ahead with the marriage, but her thoughts are overtaken by the loss of her friend. Meanwhile, Savitha, in absolute poverty yet feeling she had no choice but to escape, disappears out into the world. The next few years are spent following the two girls as they continue their daily existence, all the while never forgetting each other. Poornima relies on her memories; Savitha carries around the half-finished sari. Both girls experience insurmountable grief for the loss of the other. But finding their way back to each other seems utterly impossible when stacked up against all of the things that already exist to challenge them: no money, no means, no idea of each others' whereabouts, language barriers, dead-ends...not to mention all of the new cruel obstacles they don't even know about.

How do you find someone who could literally be anywhere out there in the world? How do you go on when you've lost the one and only person who means the world to you? Can you overcome your vulnerabilities when you're poor, uneducated and seen as less-than in the world? This book is a gripping examination of all of these things. It's a book about trying to overcome the impossible when you have no one but yourself and the love for another person to keep you moving forward.

Judge the cover: 5/5 

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Sometimes when an of-the-moment book's buzz has died down, I don't bother reading it. In this instance, I was really glad I picked up Wild, even though its heyday was at least a good five years ago.

Reasons I didn't think I'd enjoy it:

- I'm not a nature person.
- I'm not into hiking. Or camping.
- I didn't think I'd be into the story of a woman hiking in nature for months on end.

Reasons I was wrong:

- I'm still not a nature girl, but I really enjoyed following along with Cheryl as she dodged rattlesnakes, bears and mountain lions and her vivid descriptions of the wide variety of landscapes she traversed.
- I'm still not into hiking or camping, but I had such a deep appreciation for her just picking up and going for it. It wasn't as though she was just setting out for a day trip - she was a badass woman who traveled on her own for three months. This very fact made her story stand out.
- Because of the drama both on the trail (the wild animals, the crazy unpredictable weather, the lack of food and potable water) and her own personal demons (drugs, deep relationship issues, coming to terms with her family's dynamics following the death of her mother) there was always something exciting propelling the narrative forward.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book, probably more so because I wasn't expecting to. I love personal challenges, so the fact that she went into this extraordinary challenge without really doing adequate research, without feeling the need to be an expert on everything before she set out, and because of the endless trials she endured on the trail yet managing to push through them when most would have given up, I really found this to be a wild adventure of a book.

Judge the cover: 2/5

Mistakes to Run With by Yasuko Thanh

Yasuko Thanh's story demonstrates in the most heartbreaking way what can happen to a life, to a soul when it isn't shown protective love or care. From a young age, and particularly after the birth of her brother, Yasuko was ignored. Her mother wanted nothing to do with her but doted on her brother, and her father, suddenly afflicted with a myriad of allergies and sensitivities, retreated to his bed.

At fifteen, she found the streets. She sold her body for money, for shelter, for food. She found couches to sleep on or sometimes the cold, hard streets themselves. She found friends, but the hazards of living life in the fast lane meant that these friends had issues of their own: many overdosed, moved onto the next city or died of AIDS. Yasuko herself was running away from a family who didn't care about her and towards people she thought did. She found solace in men who offered her what she thought was love. She was too young and inexperienced in life to know that a pimp is only out for himself. That a crackhead puts their addiction to crack above everything else, no matter what reassuring platitudes come out of his mouth. That a schizophrenic boyfriend whose increasingly frantic delusions weren't something she could help with on her own.

So she moved to different cities, even a different continent, to try to find peace within her broken soul, but eventually learned that it's impossible to outrun matters of the heart. Everything catches up eventually. The one thing that was truly a positive outlet for Yasuko was her writing. After giving up prostitution for good, she felt a compulsion to write. One habit replaced another. Unfortunately, as her writing career started gaining traction, her relationships continued imploding and she felt her body and mind attacking her already fragile sense of self.

Yasuko has a way with words that draws you into her story. I can only imagine the assumptions people on the gritty East Vancouver streets would have made of her on first glance - the six-inch stilettos, the dirty clothes, the marks on her body - never knowing that a beautiful garden of a mind resided under her tattered facade. It takes a certain amount of bravery to tell a story that doesn't fall within society's mainstream expectations, but it takes an equal amount of bravery to reveal a heart's deepest pain. Yasuko did both and after reading her story, I'm hopeful that she finds peace and happiness to replace all of the hurt she has endured so far.

Judge the cover: 4/5

Body Leaping Backward: Memoir of a Delinquent Childhood

Maureen Stanton was just fifteen when she got into angel dust. She was the middle child in a huge family that lived in the small town of Walpole, the most interesting fact of which seemed to be that it was home to Walpole Prison. Maureen's mother would warn her kids when they were growing up that if they didn't behave, they'd end up in behind bars there. 

The story of Maureen's drug dabbling didn't really get going until about fifty pages in. Up until then, she told stories of her fairly typical seventies childhood: riding bikes, swimming, hanging out with the neighbourhood kids. She always had a rebellious streak and spoke her mind, so it wasn't too surprising when she started experimenting with drugs in her early teenage years. Her parents split up and this, combined with the large number of siblings she had, allowed her to fly a bit under the radar. 

There were interesting elements, one being her straight-laced mother who ended up shoplifting, and stories of Maureen's childhood interspersed with infamous prisoners' stories from the Walpole Prison, like the Boston Strangler. Unfortunately, these stories dangled and then ultimately petered out. I found the same to be true of Maureen's own story. Yes, she had some interesting tales to tell, but they just felt as though they happened without much consequence. She never had an addiction so bad that she needed to go to rehab or struggled too hard to quit her drug habit. She never got in legal trouble. She barely even got in trouble from her parents. It all just basically took care of itself when she felt too introspective the final time she took angel dust and became depressed. I feel as though when publishing a memoir - particularly an addition-type memoir of which there are plenty out there - it helps to have an exceptional story to share. This one just fell a bit flat for me.

I generally read books fairly quickly but was away for a few days just after I'd started this book and didn't have as much time to read as I normally do. I just didn't feel a pull towards this one. My curiosity wasn't piqued as much as it usually is with this particular genre and I wasn't dying to know what happened next. That said, the quality of the writing was good and, more importantly, I'm extremely happy for the author's sake that she didn't have a harder time coming off the heavier drugs she took and didn't become another tragic statistic.

Judge the cover: 3/5

Three Women by Lisa Taddeo

If you were to summarize this book in one sentence, you might say this is a book about the sex lives of three women. But this book isn't nearly as surface-level as that. It's much more complex and, in many ways, it's not even about sex. The sex is secondary to the varied reasons why these women have such strong feelings towards their partners and how they are rarely fulfilled in their hearts and souls. Their extreme reliance on the partners in their lives becomes the prevailing focus. The affairs they participate in, the lack of resolution when it comes to their hearts, the sheer unhappiness that pervades is tangible. These women's stories are not salacious, they are actually sad and quite heartbreaking.

While there are certainly common aspects to each of the women's stories, the situations that propelled each of them into the present are unique. The outcomes that were formed from childhood circumstances, to the families they were born into, to situations that they engaged in, either willingly or by force, each shaped who these women are today.

Maggie was just seventeen when one of her high school teachers took advantage of and started a sexual relationship with her. Lina's story begins with her as an unhappily married woman whose only wish is for her husband to kiss her, which he refuses to do. Sloane is a wealthy restaurant owner whose husband gets off when she hooks up with other people, either with him present or not.

Each woman lives inside the questions their circumstances present them with. They have eating disorders and terrible self-esteem. They look to men to provide reassurance as they scratch at love. While the women fall hard and fast and seem to genuinely fall in love with the men they're pursuing, the men are using the women purely for their own selfish purposes and really have no intention of disrupting their own lives in order to give the women the stability and true love that they yearn for. Everything that happens within their relationships is on the men's terms. The women are always pining or trying to wish things into existence or wanting to get in touch with the men, but they are always limited by the men as to the specific rules they must follow. The women are always waiting, always ready to do anything for the men on a moment's notice, yet the men never reverse their strategies or reciprocate in the same way. To them, the women are convenient and subservient. Probably one of the most agonizing observations is that at most times, these women aren't blindsided by the men setting the ground rules - rather, they're fully aware that the men are pulling the strings and they are merely the puppets, yet their depth of yearning and wanting to feel loved is so strong they acquiesce to it all. While they all encounter doubts at some points along their journeys, the pull of a possible one-in-a-million fairy tale ending still feels frustratingly just out of their grasp, yet they can't bring themselves to stop reaching.

Each of these three women looks outside of herself for love and acceptance. They're all participating in affairs of some kind - either cheating on their own spouse or hooking up with others who are married. In each instance, the affairs cause the women interminable stress. They take up an abundance of mental energy and the constant gender imbalance further tears the women down.

Out of the three women, I felt the most engaged with Maggie's story. I think it's because she was so young and, because of that, things seems to happen to her rather than her being able to truly have an adult decision-making capability based on experience and knowledge. Her story wasn't so much about desire as it was about the power of a well-loved man over an innocent "troubled" girl and how that power play worked in everyone's favour but her own. Her chapters follow her from her high school days right through to the court case between her and her former teacher.

Style-wise, the women's chapters are written in an alternating format. I think I would have preferred to have each woman's story told as a whole in three complete parts, as I sometimes found it jarring or confusing to switch back and forth to different storylines and people. The revelations are so intense and gripping that it would have been easier to digest one person's story at a time, but that's just my personal preference.

I try not to read reviews before reading books myself, but in this instance, I read a few just to get a better idea of what the book might be about. I saw reviewers state that there isn't enough diversity, which really can't be disputed, but though their skin colour might be the same, I found the women's backgrounds, their ages and married status, as well as their stages in life quite diverse. I also saw quite a few statements along the lines of the author spent years with these women and it doesn't resolve enough or that there's no real analysis. Maybe I didn't dig deep enough, but for me, a lack of analysis wasn't such a missing component. These are the women's stories and I don't feel as though they require a conclusion. It's a book about how women in particular are perceived and judged harshly from the outside world - they are married, they have children, a home, a big car, nice hair - whatever the random markers are of supposed success - so they should be happy and stop complaining, stop whining. Be quiet. Be small. But outer appearances really don't tell any kind of accurate story. These three women found the courage speak up and to shine a bright white spotlight directly onto their hearts. They were some of a small number who were brave enough to share their histories, their desires, their traumas and shame without filters. They each let their innermost stories out into the world and I hope in doing so, they finally feel at least a little taste of freedom.

Judge the cover: 2/5

Supper Club by Lara Williams

Roberta is a lonely girl. She perches on the outer fringes of friendships and relationships and never quite knows how to fit in. That is, until she meets the enigmatic Stevie, a renegade artistic girl who takes Roberta under her wing and teaches her to try to be a little more fearless and to insert herself more confidently into her life. Together, they form the idea for Supper Club - evenings whereby a group of pre-interviewed girls who want to take up more space in the world and make themselves bigger eat large meals themed in different settings, rendering the act of eating into an artistic experiment.

The Supper Club evenings are carefully planned and start out as pretty elaborate affairs. The girls forage for food, cook elaborate feasts, indulge in various stimulants and then gorge on food and dance around, expressing themselves and forming bonds through food and consumption.

It's all a little outlandish, in my opinion, and I can't tell if the uniqueness of this book is brilliantly original or a little much. Lara Williams' writing reminded me a bit of Miranda July and Ottessa Moshfegh in its slightly offbeat theme. Some parts of the books come off as a little disjointed for me, in particular when it comes to Roberta's relationships. There is one with an older professor, which has some questionable moments, as well as an intimate relationship with a former roommate who, while he loves her, doesn't seem to fully embrace her completely and likewise, she to him. They appear to be constantly trying to find their footing with each other. The only time Roberta seems to exert herself fully is at Supper Club meetings, which her boyfriend really hates, as he thinks Stevie is a bad influence. He seems to feel excluded and ignored and though Roberta and her boyfriend seem to share a fairly comfortable existence, it's not always clear why they're together, as they never seem to be fully supportive of each other. Roberta hasn't had many opportunities for solid relationships throughout her life, so perhaps it makes sense that her relationship boundaries don't always feel as clear or seem to make as much sense as they might otherwise.

Another part of the story that didn't sit clearly with me is the relationship between Roberta's estranged father and her. She receives friendly letters from him on a fairly regular basis, and he's open to meeting up with her if ever she feels that's something she wants to do, but ultimately, I don't really see where this storyline was going. She doesn't seem to mind receiving the letters, so I can only presume that this character is included to show yet another area in which she doesn't have many stable males in her life, which perpetuates her apparent tightrope walk when it comes to how she relates to others and their feelings.

Ultimately, this is a novel that is centered around feminism, the power of collective female actions, and about what it means to reject traditional male ideals by consciously not trying to make oneself tiny and quiet and perfect in order to fit in. I'm not sure it necessarily ticked all of the boxes, but it was certainly a unique book. 

In the end, I find this book a hard one to rate. I didn't feel entirely engaged with Roberta's story or many of the characters, yet I was always interested to pick up the book and keep reading to find out how the various storylines would play out, so ultimately I'm giving it a middle-of-the-road 3.5/5 stars.

Judge the cover: 4/5

Fleishman is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner

Toby Fleishman is in trouble, or rather, his marriage is. After fifteen years together, he and his wife, Rachel, have decided to divorce. Now Toby’s phone is blowing up as he ventures into the world of dating apps. He never entered the online dating world before and, not being terribly popular with the ladies in his youth, he is mesmerized by all of the females who are now clamouring for his attention. 

In sharp contrast to the endless stream of female persuasiveness taking place on his phone are his two kids, perpetually annoyed Hannah (twelve) and easy-to-please Solly (eight). Toby’s officially single and solely in charge of the kids since Rachel has suddenly stepped away from her life and disappeared to god knows where. Her phone's going straight to voicemail, her assistant is useless, and there are small crumbs of evidence suggesting a new man in her life.

Toby is a doctor, currently vying for a well-earned promotion, and needs to untangle all of this, so he sends his kids to summer camp for a month. He steps into his role of sole parent with an earnest passion, all while cursing his now ex-wife for being such a selfish parent for abandoning her children without warning or explanation. When Toby and Rachel were still married and hurling insults, the worst one Toby launched was to tell Rachel that she was a terrible mother. Now she appears to be proving Toby right. She definitely seems to be living up to that reputation. What kind of mother just ups and leaves? What kind of mother puts herself above everyone else and removes herself sharply and completely from her kids' lives, leaving them to wonder if she'll ever come back? If she's dead or alive? Toby just wants to move on, to make his job and his kids his top priority and provide them with some stability.

Meanwhile, Rachel is gone. But where the hell is she? Why did she leave? How could a mother do this? 

There are always two sides to every story. And, interestingly, Rachel's side perhaps isn't quite as we're led to believe...

Judge the cover: 5/5

Four Corners by Wally Rudolph

This book had me adding some interesting searches to my Google history. (Think: What is cheeva? Why would a drug user drink bleach?)

We follow thirty-seven-year-old Frank as he sets off on a road trip through the Four Corners of Colorado, Utah, Arizona and New Mexico with his twentysomething girlfriend, Maddie, both heavy drug addicts (though Frank is trying hard to kick his habit) and his friend's young son. The reason for their trip is that Frank's best friend, Ben, went on yet another bender, and returned to his father's house where his dad was holding Ben's son. Ben's father was threatening to revoke Ben's custody because he didn't feel that his son was in a good enough state to be taking care of a kid. Unfortunately, Ben's dad had some pretty serious issues of his own, the least of which was that Ben's former girlfriend was now his dad's current girlfriend. It's messy. So Ben essentially steals his own kid and turns up on Frank's doorstep, much to Maddie's dismay.

Frank and Maddie set off to try to get out of state and off the scent trail of Ben's dad and his questionable associates. They plan to meet up in another state with Ben, return the boy to him and take off and get married and leave all of their troubles behind. Unfortunately, when illicit drugs, kidnapping charges, ransoms and old debts are running after you, it's not so easy to escape. Who can you trust? What is real?

Four Corners has a twisty plot and the road trip aspect amps up the intrigue. There is plenty of violence and drama and the author, a former drug addict and Midwestern traveler himself, put his knowledge to great use in this book. His personal experience helps create an captivating-yet-believable story of what happens when drugs and money take over, a person is in over their head and lives are turned inside out. A person might try to change the future, but the past can never be erased.

Judge the cover: 5/5

It's Okay to Laugh (Crying Is Cool Too) by Nora McInerny Purmort

Nora McInerney Purmort chose the perfect title because there are equal parts hilariousness and heartbreak throughout her book.

When he was in his early thirties, Nora's husband, Aaron, suffered a sudden seizure. This episode led to the worst-case - and blindsiding - diagnosis of terminal brain cancer. As if that weren't enough for one family to deal with, Nora lost her father, miscarried a baby and lost her husband within a few short weeks of each other. 

But Nora's story isn't all tears and heartbreak - though I'm sure everyone would have understood if she'd crawled under the sheets and thrown the biggest pity party ever known to man. She and her husband celebrated the good and kept the bad to the back burner as much as possible. Nora and Aaron got engaged in his hospital bed. They had a son together. They made the most of their too-short time together. They made plans and they laughed a lot. They celebrated their love. It's apparent that Aaron had a heart like no other and, despite his diagnosis and the gradual deterioration of his body, his positivity radiated through Nora's stories. Nora herself, though she endured far too much for one human being, not only managed to persevere, but continued putting one foot in front of the other and maintained her awesome sense of humour. 

From the jacket, I thought this book was going to focus mainly on her husband's story, but Nora's essays delve into her youth, her dating life, her Catholic upbringing. She goes on a silent retreat, forms a Hot Young Widows Club, and befriends her ex-boyfriends' girlfriends. She also provides great advice compiled into hilarious lists. Oh, and she wears a retainer.

Nora comes across as the goofy, self-deprecating friend who you could talk to about anything. She reaches outside her grief to bang the gong that is life. She proves that no matter what life has in store, it's best if you can manage to stand up and laugh at it.

I recommend this book if you're having a terrible day, if you're looking for an uplifting read, if you want to read a real love story. Really, I just recommend this book, period. Real-life stories (even love stories) don't always have happy endings like we wish for, but that doesn't mean the stories shouldn't be told. Thank you, Nora, for sharing yours. I can't wait to read your next book.

Nora McInerney Purmort chose the perfect title because there are equal parts hilariousness and heartbreak throughout her book.

When he was in his early thirties, Nora's husband, Aaron, suffered a sudden seizure. This episode led to the worst-case - and blindsiding - diagnosis of terminal brain cancer. As if that weren't enough for one family to deal with, Nora lost her father, miscarried a baby and lost her husband within a few short weeks of each other. 

But Nora's story isn't all tears and heartbreak - though I'm sure everyone would have understood if she'd crawled under the sheets and thrown the biggest pity party ever known to man. She and her husband celebrated the good and kept the bad to the back burner as much as possible. Nora and Aaron got engaged in his hospital bed. They had a son together. They made the most of their too-short time together. They made plans and they laughed a lot. They celebrated their love. It's apparent that Aaron had a heart like no other and, despite his diagnosis and the gradual deterioration of his body, his positivity radiated through Nora's stories. Nora herself, though she endured far too much for one human being, not only managed to persevere, but continued putting one foot in front of the other and maintained her awesome sense of humour. 

From the jacket, I thought this book was going to focus mainly on her husband's story, but Nora's essays delve into her youth, her dating life, her Catholic upbringing. She goes on a silent retreat, forms a Hot Young Widows Club, and befriends her ex-boyfriends' girlfriends. She also provides great advice compiled into hilarious lists. Oh, and she wears a retainer.

Nora comes across as the goofy, self-deprecating friend who you could talk to about anything. She reaches outside her grief to bang the gong that is life. She proves that no matter what life has in store, it's best if you can manage to stand up and laugh at it.

I recommend this book if you're having a terrible day, if you're looking for an uplifting read, if you want to read a real love story. Really, I just recommend this book, period. Real-life stories (even love stories) don't always have happy endings like we wish for, but that doesn't mean the stories shouldn't be told. Thank you, Nora, for sharing yours. I can't wait to read your next book.

Judge the cover: 5/5

Very Nice by Marcy Dermansky

Unfortunately, for me, Very Nice was just Very Okay.

The storyline had a lot of potential: a daughter and her mother who each inadvertently sleep with the daughter's writing professor. But something just didn't quite grab me with this one like I thought it would. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think it's just this book doesn't quite fit neatly into one genre. Is it trying to be a beach read? A dark comedy? A drama? I'm really not sure. I think if the author had distinctly committed to one of these genres, the book as a whole would have been more tight and engaging.

There were definitely what felt like quite a few overly convenient relationships and people showing up at the right place at the right times. And some short stories that the daughter wrote that I know were entwined with the main plot, but for whatever reason I just wasn't quite connecting the dots. Add to that a very weird side storyline about a deranged family with whom the daughter became entangled (including a particularly disturbing and confusing relationship between the daughter and the eldest son) and it was all a bit too much. Furthermore, the professor really didn't seem like that much of a catch to begin with and both the mother and daughter managed their feelings in an awkward way.

Sprinkled into this not-quite-beach-read/not-quite-dark-comedy, were some serious references to major issues such as politics and gun control that just felt a little heavy and out of place.

And the ending let me down.

Okay, I think I covered what I didn't like, so let's focus on some of the positive. The plot was well-paced and there was definitely an air of mystery, not knowing all along quite how this intense situation would play out. Would the mother and daughter find out about each other/who (if anyone) would end up with the professor/was the professor just using the women or were his feelings genuine?

Unfortunately, by the end, the lack of likable characters and the far-fetched plotlines just made me ultimately not care that much.

Judge the cover: 3/5

Meaty by Samantha Irby

My favourite kind of girl is the kind that isn't afraid to be real. I mean, perfection is highly overrated in my opinion. Unattainable goals and boring-ass cardboard personalities are just so monotonous. I can't relate to perfection, but I can relate to girls like Samantha Irby - girls who aren't afraid to put themselves out there for a laugh. And Samantha Irby CAPS-INTENTIONAL GOES THERE. I am intimately familiar with her body, mind and soul even though We Are Never Meeting in Real Life (see what I did there?).

She's got one the most self-deprecating personalities I've ever read about, which is the exact opposite of a deterrent because she says everything with such exaggerated humour, we're definitely laughing with her. Whether she's telling us about her overactive digestive system due to Crohn's, letting us in on the way men fuck her over (literally and figuratively), or giving us diet tips and bland stomach-friendly recipes, she definitely knows how to laugh at the obstacles in her life.

Strange/disrespectful/cocky men are one of the most prominent obstacles she's had to deal with, as well as some major medical setbacks but, on top of it all, she also had a pretty rough childhood, with both of her parents dying early on in her life. This forced her to figure a lot of things out on her own and the results (including the thumbsucking and blankies) are pretty funny. It's always people who have to deal with the most rough situations but who have perfected the art of laughing at the ridiculous humiliation that is Life that are the funniest.

Samantha Irby is the kind of girl you want in your corner. She's the kind of girl you want to get drunk with. She the kind of girl whose house you want to hang out at (because it literally sounds like it smells delicious and is full of cashmere and comfort foods). She'd keep you laughing from morning till night - or until one of you shits yourself which, if you read this book, you just know is unfortunately bound to happen sooner or later.

Judge the cover: 5/5

Juliet the Maniac by Juliet Escora

This book was intense.

A work of auto-fiction, it's impossible to know where reality ends and fiction begins. This might be a problem for some readers, but I usually find autobiographical novels an interesting genre for precisely that reason. Gaps in memory or conversations can be filled in, incidental details made more complete and a full-circle story brought to life.

We first meet Juliet as a young girl. Hers is not a happy-go-lucky childhood of making sunshiny memories - she is haunted by demons that overtake her mind. She knows she is different but can't understand why. There is a darkness that surrounds her and bad thoughts enter her mind. She has no control over these forces, they just happen. It's not until she's a bit older that she is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which helps provide an explanation for these manic episodes.

In high school, she falls in with a crowd who mainly gets together to hang out, occasionally shoplift and go to parties. Juliet discovers drugs and she also self-harms, hallucinates on a regular basis and becomes suicidal. This spiraling behaviour finally results in her parents dropping her off at a remote therapeutic boarding school out in the countryside where she lives alongside similarly troubled kids. Some are schizophrenic, some are depressed, some have mental illness, some are there for indeterminate reasons. It's a challenging place to be, but Juliet finally feels as though she somewhat belongs. She doesn't stand out as different anymore. Other students come and go, but she connects with one boy in particular, with whom she develops a relationship. She continues to find ways to experiment with drugs. The staff tries to be helpful, but some are more qualified than others. There is a lot of experimental therapy and behaviour on the parts of both the staff and students.

Amid all of the changes, Juliet struggles to find a light at the end of the tunnel. If only she could have read all of those letters to her future self that are sprinkled throughout her story where she provides advice on life and living, ways to survive. How to try to appear normal when your mind has other plans for you.

Judge the cover: 3/5

Leave Me by Gayle Forman

It's the beginning of summer and I was looking for a light read to get my foggy brain through the heat, so I picked up Leave Me by Gayle Forman. Although it was about a woman who runs away from her family, for some reason it was giving me easy-read vibes.

The book opens with Maribeth Klein suffering a heart attack. She's only in her early forties, a working married woman with young twins. She's literally got so much on her plate that, at first, she doesn't realize that she's suffering from heart failure. But after she's got herself to the hospital, undergone a bypass, and returned home to recuperate, things start to really spiral. Her husband promised her a bubble of solitude in which to recover, but admits on the drive home that he's invited her mother to stay and "help". Then the twins demand her attention, as she's been away for a few days. Her husband has a huge work project and is trying to be there for Maribeth, but she doesn't believe he's doing as much as he can to help. It's all just too much. The stresses pile up one on top of the other and become an insurmountable obstacle.

Maribeth loses it.

She goes to bed crying. She wakes up the next morning, walks out of her house and boards a train. She finds herself in Pittsburgh.

I was looking for a beach read, but the reality of these fictional stressors unexpectedly began to eat away at me a bit. There are scenes involving lice that actually gave me two back-to-back nightmares about creepy crawlies in my hair. Really, what I thought was going to be a lighthearted novel actually has quite a lot of stressful situations throughout. I felt bad for the kids. I felt bad for Maribeth. I felt bad for Steven. (Steven was not Maribeth's husband.)

I wondered - was she ever going to return to her regular life? Does running away from your problems actually help solve them? Add to all of this some implausible reactions, some loose ends that tidied themselves up a little too neatly, and the whole plot started to feel a little far-fetched. That said, the pace was quick and I still eagerly picked it up to find out what would happen next.

A heart attack is the failure of the heart to function properly, resulting in injury to the heart or death. This is the main event that kicked off the series of reactions and repercussions, but it was also a subtext, examining Maribeth's capacity for giving and receiving love. Her heart was literally broken...and she felt it would take nothing less than drastic action on her part to try to mend it.

Judge the cover: 2/5

Dinner with Edward: A Story of an Unexpected Friendship by Isabel Vincent

It's interesting, the events in life that bring diverse people together. For Isabel Vincent and the man we know only as Edward, it was two tragic events that bloomed into an absolutely beautiful friendship. 

Isabel Vincent was trapped in an unhappy marriage that was nearing its end when she sat down one day with one of her friends, Valerie, who recounted the story of the final hours of her mother's life and the impact it was having on her elderly father. Valerie's father, Edward, was absolutely heartbroken to the point of near-suicide ever since his wife and the absolute love of his life passed away. Recognizing that both her friend and her father were both suffering terribly, Valerie suggested that Isabel have dinner with Edward, noting that he was an amazing cook. Intrigued, a couple of months later Isabel found herself sitting down to dinner with Edward for the first time.

It was an unlikely friendship: Edward was in his nineties with two adult daughters while Isabel was middle aged with a young daughter in school, but their age gap was irrelevant. Theirs was a friendship that blossomed from deep vulnerability and compassion. It wasn't just Edward's elaborate meals that nourished them; they nourished each others' broken souls through their deep heart-to-hearts. Gradually, they opened up to each other and soon came to rely on each other for comfort. In addition to their dinners, they left each other phone messages to let each other know they were thinking about them and they also exchanged heartfelt handwritten letters that further deepened their bond. 

They sometimes had to postpone their near-weekly dinners when life or health issues impeded their plans, but they got together as often as they could. When Isabel ultimately ended up divorcing her father and was ready to date again, she found herself looking for men like Edward. Edward found himself confiding things in Isabel that he couldn't with his own daughters.

All in all, they had all of the perfect ingredients for a meaningful, lasting friendship. We should all be so lucky to have an Isabel or an Edward in our lives.

Judge the cover: 2/5

Educated by Tara Westover

When I was fifteen, I lived in a small village about a half an hour away from Cambridge. One of my favourite things to do was to take the train into Cambridge and walk around the university and daydream that I was a student there. I'd take in the majestic stone buildings, the perfectly manicured lawns. But my daydreams remained just that. In contrast, Tara Westover never in her wildest dreams imagined she'd end up on the other side of the world, one day dining in the vast dining hall, studying alongside the brightest minds, learning from eminent professors and ultimately earning a PhD.

Life for Tara was a true rags to riches story - but not the living-on-the-streets-and- becoming-uber-rich kind of rags to riches. She wasn't homeless, but she did grow up on a junkyard. The daughter of fanatic Mormons, her parents didn't believe in traditional school. Her father, for the most part, believed that the government was evil; therefore, he was determined to live a sheltered, self-sufficient life. His religious beliefs were extreme and radical. Believing that the End of Days was upon them, he constantly stockpiled food, fuel and supplies. He made money by sorting scrap on his property at the base of a huge mountain and his children were expected to help with the hard, dangerous labour, while his wife made homeopathic remedies and practiced for some time as a midwife. The kids didn't go to traditional school, nor were they homeschooled - they learned whatever they wanted to from books, from their parents and, most of all, from daily life. Those who expressed a desire to go to school had to ask their father for permission. Surprisingly, he granted permission to most of them, but reluctantly so.

Life on the junkyard was incredibly dangerous. Tara's father was mentally unstable, suffering from bipolarity, and though he was capable of showing humour and reassurance at times, he was generally a tyrant. He believed in his core that he was right at all times and he demanded compliance from everyone around him. He expected those around him to respect his commands, even if it meant risking their lives to obey him. The number of gruesome, life-threatening injuries the family members sustained was astounding. Because of their mistrust of hospitals, they treated most of their injuries with herbal remedies. These weren't just scrapes and bruises, but traumatic wounds such as burns, explosions, impalements and head injuries from incredibly unsafe work practices and numerous car accidents.

As if the dangerous physical labour wasn't enough, it was heartbreaking to read of the mental and emotional abuse the family members suffered through. Like most of us, Tara trusted her parents to guide her through life, but she always felt different, as she questioned the beliefs being fed to her and the lifestyle she was forced into. It wasn't until she made the incredible unlikely leap into the outside world that she came to learn about life outside her sheltered one.

By slowly gathering resources, trusting her curiosity and finding her way beyond the wreckage - both literal and figurative - her mind opened up as she sifted through textbooks, learning about history and philosophy and the power of the written word. It was a long, courageous journey of shedding the beliefs ingrained in her from birth, discovering hard truths about her family and looking at the world through new, brighter eyes. Ironically, it was the education her father so powerfully feared that ultimately set Tara free. But the mind is a fragile egg, and it's easier said than done to leave behind all that you have known and start a whole new way of life. There will always be threads that tether you back to where you began, the ties that bind.

Judge the cover: 4/5

Women in Clothes by Sheila Heti, Heidi Julavits, Leanne Shapton & 639 Others

I absolutely love this book! It's the equivalent of peeking into someone's fridge or their diary to discover the layers that make each person's style unique. At first glance, it seemed a little odd to have a book entirely dedicated to fashion without many pictures, but I quickly discovered the fun of imagining these women through their vivid descriptions of their clothing choices, the various factors that impact how they choose to adorn themselves and how these change from person to person. These range from cultural reasons, to religious conventions, to job requirements, to personal preferences, to sexuality and gender expectations or rejections, to the way we were raised. There are thousands of factors that influence our individual clothing choices.

This book isn't just a frivolous look at clothes. It looks at fashion from a huge range of angles. The interviews with sweatshop workers and the chasm that exists between the fashion they make and the choices available to them at their pay grade was particularly fascinating. It was a like a light bulb went off when one of the workers stated that it's not as though the fast fashion factories are shitty and the factories where designer clothes are sewn are glamorous with better working conditions.

Some of my favourite parts of the book were the collections. We all have things we collect multiples of, so these visual mini museums ranging from homemade dresses to safety pins to lipstick blots were so much fun to see. I also loved the "Mothers as Others" parts, where respondents provided pictures of their mothers before they became parents and revealed what they saw.

This huge survey seems like so much fun, so I decided to reveal some of my own responses:

• I didn't grow up in a glamorous family. I often fantasized about having the kind of mother who had a little vanity table strewn with makeup and hair accessories who would swipe some of her colour over my own lips as she got ready for a night out. Or, even better, a glamorously fashionable grandmother who would allow me to twirl around her huge closet and gift me beautiful vintage clothing and jewelry pieces from her own collection. In fact, strangely enough, almost none of the women in my immediate or extended family, young or old, wear any visible makeup, colour their hair or dress up on a regular basis, but those little rituals have always been super important to me, so I can't imagine not having those things in my life. I did, however, have a great aunt who I met in England when I was very young who wore three-inch heels into her final days. I thought this was so excellent and it left a huge impression on me. I aspire to be more avant garde, eccentric and fearless as I get older, especially as the older women get, the more we seem to fade into the scenery. Iris Apfel is my imaginary fairy godmother and ultimate style icon.
• Ever since I can remember up until the present day, I have been (in)famous with anyone who's lived with me for changing my clothes multiple times before I leave the house. We're all ready to go, then all of a sudden it's like "hang on just a minute" and everyone rolls their eyes as I run into the bedroom and emerge wearing a completely different outfit. Sometimes in grade school I used to walk home for lunch, which provided me with the best opportunity: I would wear one outfit in the morning, go home and change and return for the afternoon in an altogether different outfit.
• I dress only for myself and no one else. I don't tend to ask opinions from others when I'm buying things, as I literally don't care if anyone other than me likes my choices. I almost exclusively thrift shop for my outfits and accessories - it's like treasure hunting! The fun is in finding unique items that no one else has and looking for clothes with unusual twists that separate basics from truly unique pieces. I definitely much prefer my jewelry to have some history. I also can't imagine life without makeup. I go so far as wearing makeup when I'm home alone, as I can't handle seeing my bare face in the mirror.
• I use clothes as camouflage for my bodily insecurities. I literally don't like any part of my body, so I love cooler months because I can cover myself while and distract with clothes. Summer makes me want to hide. I can't deal with the absence of clothes. It makes me feel exposed and naked. The fun part of dressing is finding clothes whose shapes/volume/details can accentuate or disguise different body parts. I love the challenge of finding unique items that express myself. That's when I feel the best.
• I have a terrible memory, but clothes are so visceral to me that fashion moments (my own and others') are ones that sift the most easily through the cobwebs of my own personal history.
• I get terrible anxiety whenever people gift me clothes or jewelry. (Hand-me-downs and clothes swaps are different, as I can choose what I like and discard the rest.) I have such a distinct line of what I do and don't like and feel uncomfortable with the obligation to wear them that being gifted items of clothes or accessories creates. Gifts like these are also often accompanied by proclamations of "This is so you!" or "I thought about you the second I saw this..." but this usually just makes me feel weirded out and misunderstood, even if I can usually understand their intention. I've always liked to pick out my own clothes, as it's an extremely personal form of expression for me. Whether or not I get it right is another story, but I like to be fully in control of my own choices.
• If I'm stuck in an outfit that I'm not happy in, it can literally ruin my already fragile self-esteem for the day. Just the other day, I left the house feeling fairly confident, but as soon as I caught a glimpse of myself later on in a shop window, I felt awful and was immediately dying to go and change into something else. I couldn't get it out of my head and it put a damper on my entire day. Sometimes I'll stash backup outfits in my purse just in case this happens to me. I like having options.
• Uniforms are one of my worst nightmares. My first job was at a grocery store where I was required to wear an ugly, unflattering polyester dress with nude pantyhose, flat shoes, and jewelry was limited to one pair of earrings which could be no bigger than a 10-pence coin. I felt self-conscious, uncomfortable and absolutely stripped of personality. In contrast, this was the same year that I was fifteen, living in England away from my immediate family, so I chose my clothes all on my own without having to deal with any form of parental input/comments for the first time. I adopted a wacky hippie/alternative look and bought my first pair of much-coveted Doc Martens. When I wasn't working at the grocery store, I was in sartorial heaven, pushing boundaries that had been created for me, discovering my very own style for the first time. When I returned home to Canada, I kept my out-there style throughout my teenage years. One evening I was handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. I opened the door and a teenage guy was standing there. He looked at me with a confused look on his face and asked me what I was dressed up as. I told him it wasn't a costume, just one of my everyday outfits. This made me extraordinarily happy.
• As a kid, I was forbidden from wearing black, as it wasn't deemed an appropriate colour for little girls by my parents, which resulted in years of adulthood married to the (non) colour. Maybe it's a habit I should have never delved into, as now I'm trying to climb out of the black hole by choosing more colourful options. It's a hard habit to break, but I'm finally realizing the innate happiness a little colour can provide.
• I've always had very tangly hair so, as a little girl, it was generally cut super short and looked boyish. As an adult, I've never had super short hair again. The shortest I've had it is a long lob, which I liked at first but then it soon felt too short. While my hair is way too long at the moment, I find going to the hairdresser a supremely uncomfortable experience and will leave haircuts until I'm absolutely beyond desperate for one to go. I still have yet to find my perfect hairstyle. The struggle is real.
• I find occasions that specifically call for casual dress super stressful. It's so much harder to me than dressing up. I will happily wear a party dress on a random Tuesday to run errands, but if I have to go to my kid's soccer game or to a cottage, it starts to feel like hard work. I feel masculine, stumpy and short if I'm not wearing heels. Runners and pants are generally a bad combination for my self-esteem.

I could go on and on, as this is right up my alley. Thank you, Sheila Heti, Heidi Julavits, Leanne Shapton and the 639 others who contributed to such a fascinating book! I read voraciously and, despite owning my own bookstore, I don't keep many books. That said, this one is going straight into my personal collection of must-keep favourites.

Judge the cover: 4/5