This book was intense.
A work of auto-fiction, it's impossible to know where reality ends and fiction begins. This might be a problem for some readers, but I usually find autobiographical novels an interesting genre for precisely that reason. Gaps in memory or conversations can be filled in, incidental details made more complete and a full-circle story brought to life.
We first meet Juliet as a young girl. Hers is not a happy-go-lucky childhood of making sunshiny memories - she is haunted by demons that overtake her mind. She knows she is different but can't understand why. There is a darkness that surrounds her and bad thoughts enter her mind. She has no control over these forces, they just happen. It's not until she's a bit older that she is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which helps provide an explanation for these manic episodes.
In high school, she falls in with a crowd who mainly gets together to hang out, occasionally shoplift and go to parties. Juliet discovers drugs and she also self-harms, hallucinates on a regular basis and becomes suicidal. This spiraling behaviour finally results in her parents dropping her off at a remote therapeutic boarding school out in the countryside where she lives alongside similarly troubled kids. Some are schizophrenic, some are depressed, some have mental illness, some are there for indeterminate reasons. It's a challenging place to be, but Juliet finally feels as though she somewhat belongs. She doesn't stand out as different anymore. Other students come and go, but she connects with one boy in particular, with whom she develops a relationship. She continues to find ways to experiment with drugs. The staff tries to be helpful, but some are more qualified than others. There is a lot of experimental therapy and behaviour on the parts of both the staff and students.
Amid all of the changes, Juliet struggles to find a light at the end of the tunnel. If only she could have read all of those letters to her future self that are sprinkled throughout her story where she provides advice on life and living, ways to survive. How to try to appear normal when your mind has other plans for you.
Judge the cover: 3/5
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