I absolutely love this book! It's the equivalent of peeking into someone's fridge or their diary to discover the layers that make each person's style unique. At first glance, it seemed a little odd to have a book entirely dedicated to fashion without many pictures, but I quickly discovered the fun of imagining these women through their vivid descriptions of their clothing choices, the various factors that impact how they choose to adorn themselves and how these change from person to person. These range from cultural reasons, to religious conventions, to job requirements, to personal preferences, to sexuality and gender expectations or rejections, to the way we were raised. There are thousands of factors that influence our individual clothing choices.
This book isn't just a frivolous look at clothes. It looks at fashion from a huge range of angles. The interviews with sweatshop workers and the chasm that exists between the fashion they make and the choices available to them at their pay grade was particularly fascinating. It was a like a light bulb went off when one of the workers stated that it's not as though the fast fashion factories are shitty and the factories where designer clothes are sewn are glamorous with better working conditions.
Some of my favourite parts of the book were the collections. We all have things we collect multiples of, so these visual mini museums ranging from homemade dresses to safety pins to lipstick blots were so much fun to see. I also loved the "Mothers as Others" parts, where respondents provided pictures of their mothers before they became parents and revealed what they saw.
This huge survey seems like so much fun, so I decided to reveal some of my own responses:
- I didn't grow up in a glamorous family. I often fantasized about having the kind of mother who had a little vanity table strewn with makeup and hair accessories who would swipe some of her colour over my own lips as she got ready for a night out. Or, even better, a glamorously fashionable grandmother who would allow me to twirl around her huge closet and gift me beautiful vintage clothing and jewelry pieces from her own collection. In fact, strangely enough, almost none of the women in my immediate or extended family, young or old, wear any visible makeup, colour their hair or dress up on a regular basis, but those little rituals have always been super important to me, so I can't imagine not having those things in my life. I did, however, have a great aunt who I met in England when I was very young who wore three-inch heels into her final days. I thought this was so excellent and it left a huge impression on me. I aspire to be more avant garde, eccentric and fearless as I get older, especially as the older women get, the more we seem to fade into the scenery. Iris Apfel is my imaginary fairy godmother and ultimate style icon.
- Ever since I can remember up until the present day, I have been (in)famous with anyone who's lived with me for changing my clothes multiple times before I leave the house. We're all ready to go, then all of a sudden it's like "hang on just a minute" and everyone rolls their eyes as I run into the bedroom and emerge wearing a completely different outfit. Sometimes in grade school I used to walk home for lunch, which provided me with the best opportunity: I would wear one outfit in the morning, go home and change and return for the afternoon in an altogether different outfit.
- I dress only for myself and no one else. I don't tend to ask opinions from others when I'm buying things, as I literally don't care if anyone other than me likes my choices. I almost exclusively thrift shop for my outfits and accessories - it's like treasure hunting! The fun is in finding unique items that no one else has and looking for clothes with unusual twists that separate basics from truly unique pieces. I definitely much prefer my jewelry to have some history. I also can't imagine life without makeup. I go so far as wearing makeup when I'm home alone, as I can't handle seeing my bare face in the mirror.
- I use clothes as camouflage for my bodily insecurities. I literally don't like any part of my body, so I love cooler months because I can cover myself while and distract with clothes. Summer makes me want to hide. I can't deal with the absence of clothes. It makes me feel exposed and naked. The fun part of dressing is finding clothes whose shapes/volume/details can accentuate or disguise different body parts. I love the challenge of finding unique items that express myself. That's when I feel the best.
- I have a terrible memory, but clothes are so visceral to me that fashion moments (my own and others') are ones that sift the most easily through the cobwebs of my own personal history.
- I get terrible anxiety whenever people gift me clothes or jewelry. (Hand-me-downs and clothes swaps are different, as I can choose what I like and discard the rest.) I have such a distinct line of what I do and don't like and feel uncomfortable with the obligation to wear them that being gifted items of clothes or accessories creates. Gifts like these are also often accompanied by proclamations of "This is so you!" or "I thought about you the second I saw this..." but this usually just makes me feel weirded out and misunderstood, even if I can usually understand their intention. I've always liked to pick out my own clothes, as it's an extremely personal form of expression for me. Whether or not I get it right is another story, but I like to be fully in control of my own choices.
- If I'm stuck in an outfit that I'm not happy in, it can literally ruin my already fragile self-esteem for the day. Just the other day, I left the house feeling fairly confident, but as soon as I caught a glimpse of myself later on in a shop window, I felt awful and was immediately dying to go and change into something else. I couldn't get it out of my head and it put a damper on my entire day. Sometimes I'll stash backup outfits in my purse just in case this happens to me. I like having options.
- Uniforms are one of my worst nightmares. My first job was at a grocery store where I was required to wear an ugly, unflattering polyester dress with nude pantyhose, flat shoes, and jewelry was limited to one pair of earrings which could be no bigger than a 10-pence coin. I felt self-conscious, uncomfortable and absolutely stripped of personality. In contrast, this was the same year that I was fifteen, living in England away from my immediate family, so I chose my clothes all on my own without having to deal with any form of parental input/comments for the first time. I adopted a wacky hippie/alternative look and bought my first pair of much-coveted Doc Martens. When I wasn't working at the grocery store, I was in sartorial heaven, pushing boundaries that had been created for me, discovering my very own style for the first time. When I returned home to Canada, I kept my out-there style throughout my teenage years. One evening I was handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. I opened the door and a teenage guy was standing there. He looked at me with a confused look on his face and asked me what I was dressed up as. I told him it wasn't a costume, just one of my everyday outfits. This made me extraordinarily happy.
- As a kid, I was forbidden from wearing black, as it wasn't deemed an appropriate colour for little girls by my parents, which resulted in years of adulthood married to the (non) colour. Maybe it's a habit I should have never delved into, as now I'm trying to climb out of the black hole by choosing more colourful options. It's a hard habit to break, but I'm finally realizing the innate happiness a little colour can provide.
- I've always had very tangly hair so, as a little girl, it was generally cut super short and looked boyish. As an adult, I've never had super short hair again. The shortest I've had it is a long lob, which I liked at first but then it soon felt too short. While my hair is way too long at the moment, I find going to the hairdresser a supremely uncomfortable experience and will leave haircuts until I'm absolutely beyond desperate for one to go. I still have yet to find my perfect hairstyle. The struggle is real.
- I find occasions that specifically call for casual dress super stressful. It's so much harder to me than dressing up. I will happily wear a party dress on a random Tuesday to run errands, but if I have to go to my kid's soccer game or to a cottage, it starts to feel like hard work. I feel masculine, stumpy and short if I'm not wearing heels. Runners and pants are generally a bad combination for my self-esteem.
I could go on and on, as this is right up my alley. Thank you, Sheila Heti, Heidi Julavits, Leanne Shapton and the 639 others who contributed to such a fascinating book! I read voraciously and, despite owning my own bookstore, I don't keep many books. That said, this one is going straight into my personal collection of must-keep favourites.
Judge the cover: 4/5
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